Membership

Between the tides

July 18, 2024 by Mary Lynn Burke Leave a Comment

This week, I’ve felt the effects of leaving social media and perhaps the combination of loose and tight structure that I’m drifting between each day has left me feeling aimless. It’s interesting how calm I’ve felt since exiting social media, but also I’m becoming aware how those posts also felt like a bid for connection on behalf of my art. Now, I’m here hoping for the same without the message being filtered, restricted and interrupted.

I do realize that I’m now asking people to come to my place, rather than the trendy country club. But, although I love seeing my friends and enjoy the latest club drinks and snacks, it’s gotten pricey, so crowded, there seem to be a lot of unwritten rules, the people don’t appear real to me and the pool feels like it’s not even why anyone is there anymore. It’s just not my scene.

So, I’m hoping to keep things simple and all about the art and conversation. I will definitely want to keep sharing my thoughts in writing because writing and art-making go hand-in-hand for me.

The past few weeks, I’ve been thinking and researching ways to stretch my own canvases going forward. I’m looking at starting with a smaller piece to practice and I’m eager to get started. I’ll be sharing more about that soon.

I’d love to hear from you, please leave a comment below or email your comment here.

In the meantime, below is another summer study I created today.

**Shore Line**
_{15 x 11 inches
GOUACHE on HEAVYWEIGHT WATERCOLOR PAPER
*currently available directly from my studio}

Unknowing

July 17, 2024 by Mary Lynn Burke Leave a Comment

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t believe in knowledge and training. However, for me, in art and less critical aspects of existence, I feel strongly that the “unknowing” is where my best work and discoveries are made. This is where flow happens to begin in my process, when I let go of the needing to know and begin trusting I’ll find my way.

_{Finishing “Cool Heat” on my studio floor. “Showers of You” and “Shift Out of Neutral” shown alongside}

_{Final painting “Cool Heat”, 36×36 inch, original available via Portland Art Gallery. Reproductions available up to monumental scale}.

_{“Showers Of You”, 36×36 inch}, _{available via Portland Art Gallery} _{Reproductions available up to monumental scale.}

I have always created my favorite work when I try new ideas, materials and methods when the only boundary is the necessary information around safety.

A few years ago, combating my scarce use of paint while consumed by the price of professional supplies wasn’t easy. Once I found a way to soften that mindset and made a contract with myself about how I insist on feeling while making my work, the paintings quickly lurched forward and began to resemble the way I feel inside.

What a breakthrough we can have in our creativity and life when we begin to set aside our fears and move towards what feels aligned, even when we don’t know where we are going or what we will have created in the end.

_{Here I am at Te Paki sand dunes in Cape Reinga, New Zealand, shown: “Te Paki” Solar Signature}

_{Final Solar Signature piece: “Te Paki”}, _{reproductions available up to monumental scale}

In the past week, what big or small way have you found yourself being held back or moving through despite your fears?

Think of a moment (disconnected from a screen) when you found time passing by smoothly, your mind free without life’s worries and to-to lists. What were you doing AND not doing during that moment?

As you imagine that moment, ask yourself how you could make moments like that possible more often. What habits would you set aside to make this happen?

On July 4th, 2024, I decided to part ways with social media and share updates and news more freely in my newsletters and here on my own blog. For the past two weeks of summer, I have been spending time with my family, delivering 8 large scale paintings to Portland Art Gallery in Portland, Maine, updating travel plans, climbing my bike 5,000 feet through the scenic Pioneer Valley in Western Massachusetts and experimenting with substrates and cyanotype in my studio.

Watch the video below for a view of these experiences. Music extracted from a performance by Lexington High School chorale.

_{Cyanotype exposure time-lapse, my newly stretched large-scale paintings at framer and upon delivery to Portland Art Gallery. My painting “On a Hot Summer’s Day” on the gallery wall (left), alongside the beautiful work of Dietlind Vander Schaaf (right), more cyanotype experiments on various substrates and a mountainous gravel-road ride with my Lovie.}

Let’s have a conversation, comment below!

The Share and Compare Effect

June 18, 2021 by Mary Lynn Burke Leave a Comment

Right now, I’m reading a book by Brene Brown, entitled: The Gifts of Imperfection. Today, I also began listening to an audio book that Brene Brown recommends, What Happened To You? By Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD and Oprah Winfrey. I’ll link to all of these resources in our“Member Resources” page for PhotoDreamTrip members.

These books can make for a rich, enlightening duo. After listening to Dr. Perry discuss brain development and how our default responses are formed, so many ideas came to mind. Many of these ideas spoke to and made sense in describing my personal associations and responses that have formed since birth. The idea of associations being built is related to endless parts and pieces of our history and existence, from the smell of food, the sounds of music, a facial expression, the feel of the sand on our bare feet. When applied to our experiences, our brains have created an association. For example, the smell of coconut sunscreen brings beach images and reminders of warmth and relaxation to my mind.

A tangent from Dr. Perry’s research came to my mind for the discussion today. I’d like to think about how our brains have been altered to respond to visual imagery. In this case, I’ll speak to photography, but please replace “photography” with any topic that suits your experience.

When I think of how photographs, access to imagery and image-making have changed since my young days of watching family slideshows in my living room, I think photography today can impact the very essence of how we choose to live. Due to the unlimited exposures available by digital cameras and the powers of editing software, we have become conditioned to expect certain attributes in photographs. Does anyone remember only be limited to 24 exposures in a roll of film, being excited to get your prints and film back from the local photo lab to finally be transported back to these moments? I’m not opposed digital photography by any stretch, I love any chance to make photographs, no matter the camera. However, with the vast array of images being broadcasted in various methods throughout each day, our brains have developed an expectation for photographs that are highly saturated, with unreal levels of contrast and sharpness. We also may expect complex, unnatural and unrealistic combinations of people within an environment.

One of my passions with photography and writing is to reveal authenticity, which I will define here briefly as living the “real” you in “real” life. To use a travel photography example, it would be inauthentic for me personally to portray my hiking adventures through an exhausting routine involving hair, make-up and fashion styling. It also wouldn’t be my natural self to climb to the very edge of a cliff, stand on my tip-toe, twirl my dress and repeat about 50 times to get the perfect composition, movement and exposure, then add various levels of luminance and color-grading to this image before I send it off into the world with a message that reads something along the lines of “living is pausing for the moments that set us free”. Presenting myself and my life to world in this way would really not be providing a realistic view on my personal average day of hiking. I would like to point out, however that I acknowledge the effort, planning, training, equipment, talent and dedication brought to these types of on-location photographs. However, what purpose are they serving our society as a whole? How many of the people behind these images are truly enjoying this process and location, as well as the result? I believe that while this type of imagery and messaging is broadcasted everywhere we look, it has a great impact on our wellbeing. If we are not very careful, we can begin to view our lives, bodies, families, homes, travels and even our meals through a distorted lens. Just as in viewing a fashion model wearing a beautiful dress, one may feel somehow inferior when the same dress fits in an unappealing way in reality, blaming our bodies. Or the meals we serve our family do not meet the standard weeknight spread served by that one “average” family that you follow on social media. Or your home doesn’t measure-up…”reality” has been skewed by imagery and we continue to contribute to this false reality every time we omit our authenticity. Every nuance of our lives, our sense of self-acceptance and photography itself are at risk of a dysmorphic disorder.

Each day, I see others (and at times, myself) making comments and statements in social media that begin with “I only have _”, “We only went to _”, “I only made _”. I’m concerned with this downgrading of who, what and why we have, do and are. Do you ever find yourself undercutting things in life for which you and/or your loved ones have worked so hard or enjoy, feeling they are not being trendy or impressive within your community? If so, can you think of what sources may have influenced you to have developed this gauge? How can we improve our attitudes and gratitude towards our photographs, art making, travels, bodies, lifestyles, and “fill in the blank”? I’d love to hear your thoughts about how recent trends in photography and media have contributed to a shift in your personal view and perception of your own life. Let’s have this important conversation in the comments below.

Assuming You Know Me

June 9, 2021 by Mary Lynn Burke Leave a Comment

Today, I’d like to talk about two natural, but sometimes limiting aspects in our lives. I’m referring to assumptions and judgment in our social sphere. I believe that we have all been conditioned to respond to the actions and words of others, involving those closest to us through those of complete strangers . We take-in the information which we either witnessed ourselves or were presented with through other sources, then process that information through our own filters, filters that have developed through our own history, personal experiences and the media. I realize that this topic extends far, deep and wide, but my focus here is how this topic effects you in your own personal life.

We can all agree that the magnitude of variables effecting our perceptions is overwhelming, including the way we process any obvious approval or disapproval of these scenario by others. The way in which others respond seems to be contagious. When surrounded by a crowd of “oohs” and “ahhs”, typically more of us immediately join into the “oohs” and “ahhs”.

I have definitely had moments when my judgement and assumptions have left me feeling both grateful for having had developed such instincts and others when I have felt mortified with shame for having misread a situation completely.

We all carry and act with ignorance and snap judgements at times; imperfection and humanity go hand-in-hand. I believe history and our present day provide us with so many lessons from which to learn and develop a more sophisticated sensitivity. Having matured our ability to pause instant judgement, we would feel the growth and freedom that comes from understanding each other and expressing our own thoughts. These are the conversations we NEED to have without feeling like we are walking on eggshells. The fear of being misunderstood and receiving the disapproving glance from others through speaking and living our truth needs to end.

I, for one, am just so exhausted and nauseated by the countless sources of messaging that we are faced with every day, telling us to be generic, mainstream and to blend.

Once again, when the community surrounding us joins in, we may either crave the sense of belonging by joining or feel as if we are the only fish swimming upstream. Of course, there are all of the glorious places in between as well, but what I feel is missing here is: the discussion of opinions. Has politeness and approval, fueled by our fear of assumptions and judgement taken complete control of our individual social lives? Do you ever feel the overwhelming sense that with certain company or scenarios, you are required to bubble-wrap each of your statements or just tuck them away in your locked diaries?

I’d like to have a conversation around those little moments that happen in our own tiny corners of the world. From a casual interaction over coffee with a friend to the quick chatter along the route of your daily errands, we can make a difference by asking questions, broadening our perspective by hearing those of others, voicing our beliefs, and filling in the gaps of misunderstanding that come from assumptions and judgement.

An authentic conversation is possible once we establish and live by a strong set of firmly-rooted values. Yes, it’s true, someone (maybe you) may end-up having their feelings hurt or being offended by statements which weren’t carefully pre-screened and curated for high approval ratings. This is honesty, humanity and reality. An authentic conversation may also bring you into a new space of belonging and understanding. That’s where I feel the motivation, right at this point in which growth, change and understanding can begin. If we strive to maintain comfortable, agreeable, people-pleasing conversations, we will never know the benefits that come from deep and honest relationships. We will never have the opportunity to refine and celebrate our purpose and perspective.

Authentic conversation is the pathway to love, belonging, change, awareness and growth.

Now, how do we put this into practice in real life? I am personally at a crossroads for how to manage a particular social scenario. Many assumptions and so much judgement have been made against myself and those I love most. I am hurting and angry, but haven’t directly responded.

This is a moment where I have an opportunity to speak my truth and point out the mistakes made through these assumptions.

I believe, however, that by speaking my truth and sharing my feelings, I would be met with more hurtful assumptions and criticism. I’m predicting that by offering clarification, I would be met with an argument with even more gusto. More importantly, I believe that my response would validate the power of the offending words and actions. I definitely do not want to offer this avenue and by closing that path, I believe that I maintain some control. Oh…the games I (we) play. Is any of this thought process familiar to you?

So, how long will I let this fester, why does it bother me on such a deep level and how may I find a way to make peace within myself? How is my silence going to make any change? How much is my choice to be silent driven by my fear of the confrontation itself? How much power does my fear of inaccurately articulating my position have over me?

I know in my heart that, for me, this scenario brings me back to my personal history of being misunderstood, being silenced, being shamed, and being told I’m unimportant, irrelevant and don’t belong.

Authentic conversation shows compassion; it invites us all to share our experiences and offers soul-warming relief and connection.

Here are some questions to consider and begin a conversation in the comments below:

Consideration:

1. Are you currently working with or against social assumptions and judgement in your own life? Have you in the past?

2. Do you have difficulty expressing yourself in certain scenarios, with specific company? If you are able, can you determine why?

3. What are your outlets or creative methods in which you DO feel safe expressing yourself?

4. Do any of your outlets seem to be a way to “avoid” feelings, versus leaning into your feelings?

5. Do you create art from places of pleasure AND pain? If not, what may be holding you back?

6. Share how you are courageously owning who you are, what you dream of, the hurdles you face and the challenges you are learning to redesign for growth.

In art and in life, our expression, our opinions and our feelings belong and are so valuable. I want each of us to live a life with freedom to be who we are, not to fear being bullied, misunderstood and not “fitting-in”. Let’s work towards living authentically. Let’s get outdoors, connect with nature and renew our minds. Let’s put our feelings and impulses into our artwork and creativity, nourish our relationships, grow in our ability to maneuver through the awkward and anxious feelings that may come with vulnerability by having “real” conversations.

Creative Prompt #2:

Write some words to express your goals around vulnerability. Share in the comments or add to your profile, if you like.

A few months ago, while walking the beach, I was considering my own goals around vulnerability and have shared them with you below.

I wrote this as a guide into this phase of growth and development. I believe it is relevant for anyone looking to make a positive change, those who are especially infatuated with being in the sea will be able to relate on both the physical and emotional side. I hope this inspires you and you share any ways in which these words moved you today.

“I will enter the sea
Humbly
Respectfully
Honestly
I will let the waves wash over me
I will feel their power
I will stay strong and safe
I will remain open to their gifts
I will allow movement and discomfort
I will embrace and settle into the new
I will have the courage to be one with the waves which meet my aspirations
I will develop instincts to let the mismatched waves pass
I will grow and have faith in myself with this opportunity
Even if it scares me
Even if it feels so much bigger than me
Remembering. I will always land on solid ground
To show me where I’ve been
With fresh perspective
Towards what is possible.”

Mary Lynn Burke

Adjustments Are Good For the Soul

June 2, 2021 by Mary Lynn Burke Leave a Comment

Today, as a practice in being vulnerable within our courageous community, I’d like to share a story about my journey towards finding my focus and purpose for PhotoDreamTrip. Currently, my ideas for PhotoDreamTrip are simply NOT aligned with my originally perceived plan, and for this, I am so grateful. I am grateful for my intuition, grateful for my instincts and grateful that I have had the open mind to follow these above all else.

Soon after we moved to New Zealand, I suddenly believed my sense of self-worth would get a boost if I were to have a “career” and contribute to our family’s financial comfort.

Since I was young, I have found value in the resulting payment for a job done of quality work. The predictability and ability to control this aspect of my life has been empowering. For many years, on my path towards a career in social work, I worked multiple jobs at once (some not so dignified, one which left me falling in a dumpster while cleaning office buildings alone at night).

Wanaka Tree, Wanaka New Zealand South Island. Sunrise. The Remarkables. Queenstown. — The Lone Tree of Lake Wanaka

At the time of our move to New Zealand, my oldest daughter had just turned 10 years old and throughout these years, I happily chose (and so gratefully had the option) to be a stay-at-home Mama. Now, I was ready to pounce back into the validation that comes with a “paycheck”, even at the expense of setting aside my photography dreams. I knew that a “real job” in Social Work would guarantee a predictable paycheck and provide the reward of helping my community.

I completed all steps to receive my New Zealand Social Work License. I applied, interviewed and was accepted for part-time social work jobs, only to be told afterwards that the positions were strictly full-time, an impossible and unwelcome scenario for our family schedule and values. Upon explaining our family needs (and confusion that this position was advertised as part-time), I was told to “just put them in aftercare”.

This organization, in desperate need of social workers, an organization based upon the well-being of children and families, clearly wasn’t able to offer me the flexibility to maintain the well-being of my own family. Hard pass.

So, relieved to have yet another opportunity to go all-in with my creative dreams, I imagined PhotoDreamTrip. I was on a mission for success, in the form of a paying career in photography. I considered the advice of local NZ photographers, who were informing me about the lack of possibility for creating a photography career in New Zealand. I found their words gave me even more fuel for the passion I had within me. I had so much passion for success. In this moment, I felt pay would be the measure of my success and proof of my worth. This money would help support our family, take some financial pressure off of my husband and my ego would enjoy the boost.

Once settled into life in New Zealand, I suddenly saw our family journey of living abroad in this “bucket list” location as an opportunity to not only begin a career as a travel photographer but to finally justify and prove my motives and “hobby” over the years had been for good cause. I wanted to prove that I do, in fact, have a talent that has value to others. By being paid, published, selling prints and having a large “audience” viewing my photography, I will finally have proven my worth.

Ugh, I’m hiding under the table blushing as I write this!

New Zealand fur seal portrait. Kaikoura, New Zealand, South Island. — New Zealand Fur Seal. Kaikoura, New Zealand South Island

And that is the sad, selfish part (*we’re human, we’re all selfish sometimes). In my deepest places, I felt that being paid would finally give me the chance to prove myself to a selection of specific people in my life. These people, for a whole host of reasons and after all of these years, would finally give me their invaluable seal of approval. Ewwww, yuck, right?! I mean, I am utterly mortified to have this place in my soul, but there it is and I’m acknowledging it’s ugly presence (Read: The Gifts of Imperfection). And, let’s also acknowledge the obvious while we’re at it…these people would absolutely NOT give me anything close to a seal of approval, EVER! HINT: if you feel you have to prove something to someone, they are simply not your people. Oh, how sad it is to hold onto this dream to please others and to let it guide any bit of my journey towards joy (which is self-love and approval).

Thankfully, the problem with this idea was very soon apparent to me as I began to write captions for my photographs and build my website. I felt boxed-in by the writing model and style of some successful travel and tourism photographers. I obviously did not feel comfortable with the idea of paid promotion. In fact, writing with this intention felt so innately void of soul to me that I felt lost in my purpose and my inspiration was completely squashed. (This is not to devalue the importance of promoting something that holds your values and ideas).

Each day after time spent with nature, I began writing from my heart, and it completely poured out of me with ease and like some out-of-body experience.

Wainui Beach Sunrise. Gisborne, New Zealand. Sunrise Slow shutter, long exposure. — Wainui Beach Sunrise. Gisborne, New Zealand

But after all was written and posted, I wondered, who was the person who wrote this? I felt deeply connected and inspired, I felt renewed and strong, I felt confident.

But then, not too long afterwards, usually around 3pm, when my (2nd cup) coffee buzz had worn-off, I questioned it all! Hello imposter syndrome. Where was I going with this writing? Why was I sharing all of this and how confused readers must be! If my photographs weren’t going to fulfill my dream to contribute to our family finances, then what was the point of taking the time to share them? What purpose would PhotoDreamTrip be serving for myself, my community and the public?

By now, my family was actually seeing a shift in how I was spending my time. Now, I was out creating photographs, writing and editing at the computer for hours per day. Many times, my work was spilling over into after-school and family time. I needed to get a grip, this was defeating the purpose. Wasn’t it?

More to come, but here’s some foreshadowing for you: I still need to get a grip and I’m okay with that!

I hope that you may like to share a comment or idea that came to you as you read this story. Don’t be shy, I mean, really, I just told you that I fell in a dumpster!
– Mary Lynn

CREATIVE PROMPTS:

Creative Prompts are always optional in every way, always let your instincts direct you and allow yourself to travel in any direction that suits. *Share any thoughts or outcomes in the comments, if you please.

*Please respect the strict absolute confidentiality policy within this group.

CREATIVE PROMPT #1:

First, put away distractions and get outdoors. Spend quiet, uninterrupted time with nature, preferably 30 minutes or more. Now, through any creative means you choose (visual, sculptural, fashion, written, animation, musical, etc.), express your personal style. In words, attempt to explain your style to someone who lacks all 5 senses.

Bonus: Does your style change depending upon mood, location, current company, surrounding sounds, weather? Express any of these as it feels valid and important to you. Do you feel any stuck points or difficulty expressing your style or being aware of your style? If so, can you determine the source of difficulty?

Your Work Might Look Different Than Mine, But…

May 31, 2021 by Mary Lynn Burke Leave a Comment

I recently had a conversation with a friend, we briefly chatted about how our time is spent during our children’s “teacher only, no school day”. After discussing the time I spent with my daughter during her day off, this fellow Father had this to say to me, “You can do that because you don’t work”. Perhaps he noticed my look of disdain upon processing his words. He then attempted to clarify by stating, “Well, you don’t have multiple jobs”. Now, before I proceed, I’d like to mention that I don’t see a villain or hero in this conversation, but I would like to point out my growing concern and annoyance.

I’ll start by asking you, does this conversation ring a bell for you, particularly all of those stay-at-home parents and/or artists, solo entrepreneurs out there? This man certainly wasn’t the first and will not be the last to say these words to me or to imply that I don’t have a “job”. I will say that I also do not have insights into all of his many “jobs” and the important work that he is doing every day. But to that, I’d like to give him my respect, admit to my ignorance and say to him “Tell me more”.

Abstract Acrylic Portrait Painting and Single-Line Drawing exploring family roles.
Has anyone ever implied that you don't have a "job"? A conversation around what it means to you and to our society to “work” or to have “a job”. — Acrylic Painting and Single-Line Drawing exploring family roles.

But for now, I’d like to have a conversation with you around what it means to you and to our society to “work” or to have “a job”. I’ll start:
I am challenged by history that accompany me everywhere I go. It takes shape as bouts of low self-esteem and low self-worth. Depression and anxiety knock on my door often, sometimes distant and sometimes like a siren in my ear. I’m “working” on all of this every day. I “work” through my history and beliefs daily by creating. I soul-search and the nectar of my discoveries are put into words, photographs, paintings…art. I “work” from my heart every single day.

My “job” has a name, it is “artist”. I share my “work” to bring beauty, understanding, belonging, comfort and inspiration to anyone who comes across my art. My job literally is vulnerability. My work is tender, and is often scary, painful and awkward. My work may not pay all the bills, but the value of my job is that BECAUSE of it, I am able to offer a core of light and an unconditional, albeit imperfect, embrace for my family.

If it weren’t for the “work” I’m doing, I would absolutely not be able to provide the nurturing and understanding for my family as I am called to every day. My “work” is first for my healing and well-being, so that I may provide love and light for my family and in my dreams, so that I may inspire and offer comfort and nurturing for others.

Now, your turn. Comment YES or 💯 if you can relate to the moment I’ve described. Maybe take your comment a bit further, what is your “job”, what do you do for “work”. Do you draw a line to delineate what constitutes someone who “works” and someone who “does not work”?